Review: Shrill

Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman, by Lindy West

4.5/5

The recommendations I received for this book had me a bit wary: memoir of a fat, pop-culture writer for Jezebel. I didn’t realize she’d written my favorite piece on Jezebel (“How to Make a Rape Joke“). I didn’t realize she’d stood up to Dan Savage and his anti-fat rhetoric (though I’d read about the entire situation). I read it because, when you recommend books to people all the time, you are obligated to take their recommendations in return on occasion.

And I am so glad I did. Lindy West writes in such an approachable way. You don’t have to be exactly like her to a) empathize with her naturally and b) feel like she just gets you. She writes about her reactions to misogyny in comedy, and how confronting it has soured her on comedy (“Comedy, you broke my heart” hit me hard, because my life-long love, academia, recently broke mine, too). She wrote about the death of her father and all the recriminations she had for herself and all the false parallels to death she’d made before she confronted it. She writes about growing up fat, with all the fear of being worthless that comes with it. But I grew up thin–thinking I was just as worthless because my body wasn’t “right,” and trying hard to figure out how to do just that. The parallels are so common and so relatable.
The acceptance and love and humor and grace she shows her own body are kindnesses I hope to be able to show my own–and others’. I want that kindness to be something I can feel, too. I can say that about all her stories: despite the despicable way she is treated daily, AFK (away from keyboard) and online, she has built a philosophy and persona and heart strong enough to take trolls head on, to confront a beloved institution (comedy) about an insidious problem is has (rape jokes), and even speak up to her boss. I think when many of us try to say we are hoping to find our voice, this is what we are hoping to find.
Also, while this book is hilarious, it is also chock full of potential triggers. Rape, death, disillusionment, abortion, and screwy periods are all covered frankly. They are all considered in a broader context, often through a very clear feminist lens, and with such a matter-of-fact way that seems foreign when talking about “women’s issues.” But she is helping to normalize them, to help by giving a script to women who are seeking ways of saying “Yes, it is possible to make a joke out of this, but you are making fun of me, not the topic, and you’re doing so in a way that hurts me–which I don’t think you want to do. Please stop” to so many aspects of their lives.
Lindy West is giving an excellent voice to the youngish feminists (3rd wave? Is that what we are now?) who want to be allowed to be in their bodies without constant threat or ridicule, and who want that for others, too. She recognizes her privilege often, and makes it a point to use that privilege to make changes that can help us all.